How To Practice Mindfulness. Maybe Not What You Think? Definitely Worth It!

Don't run away after reading the title. This will be good. This is one where I'm relating from past experience. I couldn't escape fast enough when someone tried to teach me how to practice mindfulness. My thoughts went right to sitting cross-legged in a circle, which I can't easily do, to being told to chant some unrecognizable word salad, while burning incense in the background.

This isn't it!

As a child of the 60's and 70's, that might have been a thing, but those guys weren't learning how to practice mindfulness. And incense wasn't all that was burning.

If you're still with us, how would you feel if there was a simple way to reduce stress, increase mental acuity, improve your physical health, strengthen or repair personal relationships, and add more joy to your life? It worked for me after I stopped running and started listening. I've been using some of the methods you will read in this page for quite a while now. Long before realizing this was actually a recognized process. An old friend just gave me these tips and they have been transformative.

Since you're checking in to this website centered on leadership development, would you be interested in learning how to practice mindfulness if it increased your ability to listen better, respond rationally, and lift up other people? These easy-to-follow steps will do that if you practice them. We get good at what we practice.

There are chapters of scientific data to support all those gains. We're including a link to some of that information from a prominent medical source. My co-editor who thrives on detail loved this part although, that personality type would have appreciated more charts and graphs. For the other 90 percent of the population who just wants to know what to do and why it works, we're sharing that in this page.

Releasing Regrets

I spent parts of nearly every day regretting past decisions in my life. So much so that I imagined in my mind a life where I was given a reset button and transformed back to my mid-twenties. But in this fantasy, I was armed with all the life experiences gained and weathered in my real life. My decisions were much better and I had that "wonderful life."

But it was all false and while it afforded a period of artificial happiness all fantasies provide, it was hurting much more than helping. Rather than handling adversity and even the normal ups and downs of everyday life with even a modicum of restraint, nearly every event became a crisis or a challenge. My mind locked into past setbacks. Regrets from that past influenced present situations and tainted future possibilities before they ever arrived.

As I learned how to practice mindfulness, I noticed a residual benefit that has been a blessing in my life ever since. The people who vehemently disagreed with me on truly important matters became so much more cognizant to truth and willing to listen. They got smarter. It couldn't have been that my practicing mindfulness actually led me to quality focus on the person in front of me and what they were trying to say. It couldn't have been the way I stopped interrupting them, stopped trying to trap them in their own words, stopped focusing on proving myself right and beating them down in the process. It couldn't have been me becoming more courageously compassionate, being completely present in the moment, had made me more relatable?

Or maybe it was after all?

How To Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness comes down to one thing and we'll give you two easy steps to get to that one thing. With just a short time set aside each day, you'll be able to utilize this new skill in every facet of your life. It will be transformative.

Being mindful is about being present in the moment you are in at that time. But more than just present, being good at practicing mindfulness will allow you to train your brain to take you out of being controlled by negative, stressful situations. Nothing gets you out of those things altogether. That's just life. But regaining and optimizing control is possible and it only takes a few minutes each day.

My friend taught me these two things about practicing mindfulness. She did it in such an effective way that not only did I finally let go of misconceptions, but over time recognized that she was prepping me for future work.

The first thing she told me was to take a few minutes every day to consciously focus on a single object or thought not related to work, family, or world events. Just pick an innocuous thing or thought and observe or reflect, paying attention to details.

Being omnipotent and wise, I gave her a list of reasons why this was nothing more than "hippie hokum." After I finished my ignorant rant, she smiled and said, "OK." Of course not getting a return argument intrigued me, so I backed up...a little...and asked her for an example. She did so and I tried it for a while. Oddly enough, I was actually wrong. Imagine that!

Nope! Not this either.

Now you might have heard suggestions of "clearing your mind." We can't clear our minds and think of nothing. The very act of "thinking of nothing" is in and of itself, thinking.

She later expanded this first step in how to practice mindfulness to explain how it was teaching me to live in the moment. It was teaching me to be present for the present, not pining over the past or fearing the future. When I had gotten pretty good at being present and focusing my mind, while not straying into negative territory, she gave me her second step.

She told me to practice long, slow breathing while doing the previous step. Deep inhale through the nose, slow exhale through the mouth. When I felt a stress moment or anxious activity pressing me, just fall back on intentional breathing and being present on one thing.

Over time if you practice mindfulness in these two steps, you will learn to transfer the skills your brain has acquired into any situation. I can only make that statement because I've seen it with all three of us in our editorial room. If we can do it, you can certainly do it and probably do it better.

In our page about better listening, we wrote about remaining quiet and not interrupting, We should have included these tips about mindfulness. We'll fix that. We get good at what we practice.

In this link you'll find lots of official data and a couple more ways to practice mindfulness. I'm certain they work. For me, I'm just rolling with the two I described for you. I'll close this page with examples of being present and paying attention to details of the person or thing in front of us.

In our backyard we have an oriole feeder. Before I started using them as my first exercise, I never knew there were so many orioles in Michigan. This simple act of mindfulness, just a few minutes watching the orioles devour grape jelly is how it worked for me. The orioles provided clarity. Quietly watching them was a catalyst to letting go of past regrets and recognizing the good around me.

Being fully present even for a few minutes in this simple practice, thinking solely about birds eating jelly, rather than past hurts, future fears, or current worries that must be elevated to emergencies because that is how I built them up in my mind, worked and it will work for you.

My co-editor uses the family dog for that same step. On their walks, focus is placed solely on observing the pure joy emanating from that dog. Not what should have been done yesterday or an international crisis. My co-editor has gotten much better at the breathing exercise than me and is able to seamlessly move right into that mode to bring calm reasoning and immediate stress relief into any situation.

What you choose for yourself is up to you. You'll know when your focus point brings you inner peace and clarity. You'll know when you feel better. As suggested in that link we provided, your body will tell you when mindfulness is working.

Please share your success stories with us.

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